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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I Feel So Alone....

I been trying myself to stay positive but sometimes I just feel too weak to gain more positive energy to flow inside my vain.  Yes, I feel so shaky tonight and I just feel so weak.  I need to release so that tomorrow I will be back to normal self again.  I thought I can write this without crying but then I afraid I can't....  I need to release.  I am just so thankful that my laptop comes to life again because if not may be I been crying more.  My blog becomes my outlet especially when I am feeling sad and so alone.  At least here it's as if I'm talking to someone by just typing what I really feel.

Sometimes I wonder until when I will be like this?  Sometimes I asked myself if I deserve this.  Sometimes I think I probably don't deserve the love that I always been longing for that is why I am alone.  Or may be I am just having a self pity right now....  I envy my friends who are now building their own family and who are happily living together with the man they love.  Although I am happy for them, I envy the fact that I am too far to the man I love.  I wish I am like them enjoying every single day of their live with their family.  Will I ever have the chance to be in that position?  I don't really know.....

I feel that I am getting older each day.  I wanted to take all the chances being with my hon-hon but then it's just too hard because he is too far.  It is just too far......

I probably just miss my hon-hon so much.....

1 comment:

joy said...

hi sis! sometimes i feel the same thing. but i know that it's not yet the right time. we just need to be patient because in God's perfect time we'll have what our heart's truly desire. siguro , may mga bagay na kailangan pang mag-work out o tapusin bago ibigay sa atin yon.

for the meantime, let's just wait and pray and continue growing as a person so that we can be the best person for the one we truly loved. everything will work out fine. darating din yon sis. and i'm sure it is really worth the wait

don't worry sis. God has a perfect plan- just hold on to that.