Saturday, January 29, 2011

Am I a Robot?

It is almost midnight and I just arrived home.  I feel so tired but couldn't sleep.  I been like this for almost two weeks now, driving myself to work day by day as if there will be no tomorrow.  Not that I miss working but I have to be like a robot working 24x7 just to fill the void in my heart.  I don't have work tomorrow but I wish I have because staying at home is now becoming harder for m because it means I will have plenty of time to think and allow the feelings of emptiness crawl inside my heart.  This is the hardest feelings to conquer but I have to not only for me but also for hon-hon.  I have to keep my promise to him to be patient and allow him to have the time and space, until when?  I really don't have an idea which I think makes it even harder for me. 

God knows how much I love him and so I am praying that He will give me the patience and the understanding that I will need to pass this trial.  Right now I have to feel like a robot, switch on to work and work and work.  I am tired but I would rather be physically tired than being emotionally down.

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