Monday, January 17, 2011

Hurting Decisions

I thought it was alright but why until now my tear ducks never dry?  I face the mirror and asked myself, what is wrong with me but all I got was a reflection of a woman with a sad eyes.  I know I made the right decision even if it is against my will.  I keep convincing myself that I can do it but I feel the emptiness in my heart.  The truth is, I am so scared and I feel so insecure right now because I don't really know what will happen for the next couple of weeks.

Space and time are what he asked from me and so I gave it.  I do understand his reasons why he asked for that but I think my selfish me is now asking why can't I be a part?  But I have to respect his decisions and trust him on it.  It was a hurting decision that God knows I don't want to make.  I don't know until when he will need the space and the time and that's what I am scared of because he might forget that I exist.

Hard, isn't it?  But I think no matter how hard it is, I have to understand and be patient because I know that he also don't want it to happen.  In my heart I know and I believe that he loves me so much and he will never hurt me in any ways but then there are circumstances that happened that need to be fix.  I know the situations because he makes sure I am aware of it and so no matter how hard it is, I will be firm with my decision to give him the space and time he is asking.  Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do for the benefits of the one you love and I think no matter how hard and hurting it is I am proud to say that I made the hardest decision because I truly love him...

Right now, I am not really sure what will happen in the future but one thing I know that my heart will continuously seek for him.  I will pray hard that things will be back to normal soon.  May God bless us both and may me both pass this ordeal....

1 comment:

joy said...

sis gracie, if i could just give you a hug right now, i would. in time, you'll discover why this thing happen, just hang in there and trust that God has a reason for everything.xoxo